Thank you, Lord, for bringing a revival about in me. I had no idea I was so sorely in need of one. I have felt your hand in my life so strongly for the last few months, and for what may well be the first time ever I have followed where you led without question. Looking back, I am amazed at the change you have made in me. I have always believed, and I have always had faith, but I realize now that I have never completely trusted.
The old me would never have come forward to request membership in a church on the first day I attended it (my first real “yes”). The old me had spent the last 7 years “church shopping” to find a church I felt comfortable in (i.e. a church that was a clone of the beloved church I had left behind when we moved halfway across the country). That me was too focused on her preferences and not even aware of her needs. The old me would not be gearing up to lead a 5th-6th grade class in the children’s ministry (an age group I’ve never been completely comfortable with) after a mere 2-3 months of attendance at a new church. That me would have preferred to stay in the background. The old me preferred to worship quietly and mostly alone for fear of actually having to interact.
I am amazed at this new me you have created…a new me who is taking an active and visible part in ministry as a teacher and prayer team member, a new me who is reaching out instead of avoiding contact, a new me who can’t get enough of your word and your teachings, who has read an astounding number of bible reading plans, devotions, books, and blogs about faith in just the last few months and STILL can’t get enough. Where in the world did this new me come from? She sure hasn’t been around before – I’d have noticed.
But then, she didn’t come from the world – did she? She was brought about by your hands and through your grace. When I was unspeakably discouraged and disheartened by life, you changed my life. All I had to do all this time was wait and trust – the two things I have the hardest time doing. Maybe I needed to fail miserably and repeatedly to “fix things” on my own to really understand what it meant to trust in you. Your wisdom and timing are perfect, Lord, and I thank you for all the years of frustration, because in the end they were what opened my eyes to your truth. Now I can truly say yes without worrying about my next steps. Now I can sit back and really see the wonders that have unfolded in my life because of one unforgettable “yes” that has blown the doors off of my heart.
My prayer is that my “yes” will become but one of many, and that they will lead others to say yes as well. My “yes” that day led straight to my son’s salvation. Thank you for breaking me just enough to make me let go of myself and reach for you.